Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
