You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
