PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
