***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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