i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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