If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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