I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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