what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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