Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
