God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
