she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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