im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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