I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Congratulations! We have a period
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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