if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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