So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
