how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think people are normalizing furries
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
