my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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