She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
God I need to hump something, right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
