all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
