dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
