so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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