You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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