Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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