Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
