And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.