I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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