Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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