Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
