Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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