he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize