i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
