i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
