I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
