? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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