He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize