i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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