I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike