so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.