This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
