Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
