i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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