Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/psvc
  Replies (12) Good night (958) Bad night (7335)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up http://tfl.nu/zoaj
  Replies (26) Good night (1062) Bad night (2881)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?" http://tfl.nu/juih
  Replies (11) Good night (5848) Bad night (1460)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by. http://tfl.nu/au1s
  Replies (16) Good night (4684) Bad night (1452)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks http://tfl.nu/2hg2
  Replies (3) Good night (3951) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep http://tfl.nu/y2u2
  Replies (19) Good night (3278) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven? http://tfl.nu/9wj5
  Replies (10) Good night (3120) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard. http://tfl.nu/f3jg
  Replies (3) Good night (2732) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump? http://tfl.nu/1thl
  Replies (14) Good night (1297) Bad night (3350)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap http://tfl.nu/xw89
  Replies (5) Good night (744) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now http://tfl.nu/pfr6
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i dont think thats healthy man...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful. (303): i dont think thats healthy man... http://tfl.nu/vurl
  Replies (6) Good night (2243) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me. http://tfl.nu/0q6n
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/tqj8
  Replies (2) Good night (1290) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.

  (917): View more from New York City

  can you adopt me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now. (917): can you adopt me? http://tfl.nu/i9vb
  Replies (1) Good night (1037) Bad night (283)

Randomize