great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
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I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO