yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
