I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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