So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
