Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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