so explain again why im purple
no
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize