Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize