hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
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I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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