i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize