I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize