apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
