Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
