Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
