lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
