sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the condom got lost in my hair
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
