When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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