You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's not a foreskin expert like you
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
