My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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